I entered hospice this week. I signed the papers this week. I think this upset many people so I’m going to do a little explanation of what it means. The most important thing is it means that your drs. have signed off saying that there are no treatments left for your cancer. We knew that already but just got verbal confirmation of it. If I weren’t in the physical state I am in maybe I could do chemo but I really can’t handle it anymore. There is the part no one wants to talk about which is a 6 month or less time frame they think is left for my life. This all means nothing, I will live as long as I live, hopefully a long while. However LOL, I can be technically kicked out of the program but that’s unlikely.
Okay, so hospice makes more things covered by insurance. We can keep the same visiting nurse and the same physical therapist. I will get a new IV nurse for the pain infusion pump. They sent over a home health aide (the difference being that it’s an additional service whereas before it took away from insurance paid but limited visits from the PT and the home health nurse- with hospice those visits are unlimitedly included). Andy has now taken 3 months of unpaid leave of absence (please don’t ask about our finances, we will be fine) which helps immensely. So in general we at peace with our decisions.
I’ve been following your blog for awhile but don’t know if I’ve commented before. I lost my mom to endometrial cancer in May. We used hospice and it was wonderful. I’ve heard of people having hospice for one day and of people getting recertified after their 6 months were up and continuing it for years. As someone once told us – there’s no expiration date stamped on any of us! I wish you and your family much love and peace as you travel down this new path. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
I’m sorry that it has come to this, but I’m glad at least that hospice status helps with your home care situation. I really don’t know what to say, but I do know I have this feeling of sadness in the situation, but pride in knowing you and how you are handling each day as it comes. Can you email me your mailing address? I’m not sure I have your newest address. Thanks!
Thanks for posting Michele. I hope you live a long time too
Your husband is amazing and so is Zoe and very lucky to have you for a spouse/mom.
People get upset maybe because hospice makes official that what they prefer not to think about – that no treatment options exist and the medical system thinks your time is short. So glad it comes with the silver lining of more insurance coverage. Here’s to hoping for many more good days.
((Hugs)). You sound very at peace with all of this, and for that I am glad. I am also glad you are feeling well enough to post and share.
It’s good to “see” you.
As Valerie said, I’m sorry it has come to this, but I hope this means positive things for your quality of life.
Take care, and loads of hugs.
Michele, We’re all missing you at EOTP but everyone is thinking of you and praying for you and Andy and Zoe as well. I’m glad you’re getting the good care that you are and hope you’re not in pain. Wish I could give you a real hug!!! But sending lots of big cyber hugs!
Oh Michele!
What a long haul it has been. I hope this leg of your Race is as long as it needs to be. You’ve always been there for everyone else. Now listen to the cheers of all your adoring fans supporting you on your way.
Much love,
Sue D from EOTP
Marion C. from EOTP gave me your blog site.
As a nurse I strongly believe in the many benefits of hospice. It is so good to hear you are getting the care you need and that your husband is able to take time off.
We all know life ends some day, but getting adequate pain medication is important and we never know when it is time to go. There are also “hopeless” cancer cases that went into spontaneous remission.
Wishing you the strength to live each day in love.
With lots of hugs!
I too am saddened that Hospice has become a necessity, but on the other hand am glad that it is available to you.
Lots of thoughts and prayers being extended to you & your family
{{{hugs}}}
p.s. Happy Birthday! (on the day I’m posting, not the day you posted…)
I am glad for you and Andy and Zoe that you are together and handling this so well. I am so proud and inspired by all three of you. Well, yes it is upsetting and I will try to find peace with it. Not with your decision, of course you are doing what is right and best and I wholly support you. I just need to find my own peace in losing my oldest, dearest and closest friend. A part of me is going with you, wherever you go. It always had. I love you.
Happy birthday, I am so glad you are here for at least one more. <3
Connie
I don’t know you, but I pray to God that hospice makes you better. I can see you have been fighting for a while. You have many sisters fighting for you.
Be well and God Bless
Michelle ~
Thinking of you today, as I so often do; wishing and hoping for a miracle to occur. So desperately do I cling to the idea that you’ll be freed from your pain, freed from your suffering, freed from all ailments you’ve ever had. I want that so much for you; what I wouldn’t give to be able to wish and pray you well again.
May your days be filled with love and laughter; may your nights be filled with blissful sleep. Take the time to enjoy, take the time to rejuvenate, take the time to pamper and coddle yourself like never before. And if you should tire and become weary, know that I will be there with you ~ to wipe your brow, to stroke your hair, to hold your hand, to cradle you in my arms, and to lend you what strength I have.
As my friend, all that I have is yours for the taking. Lean on me ~ Sap my strength ~ I’ll only grow stronger through your friendship; I gain immensely from simply sharing in your world. You don’t yet realize it ~ how magical you are. But I do.
I’m wandering, my mind is rambling away from me. Visions fill my mind of a beautiful woman ~ I can’t see her face, but instinctively I know she is my friend ~ strolling through a meadow, her gown flowing in the gentle breeze. Butterflies flutter, ever so lightly, kissing her cheeks with the sunshine. Birds sing, ever so lightly, heralding her presence among them. You can almost hear the whispering, the chittering, of the forest creatures as they mull around her, completely in awe of her rare beauty.
The woman in the field, the Angel in my mind ~ who has so captured my imagination and the imaginations of so many others ~ is you. Your soul is radiant, almost blinding, so pure and light. We are blessed for having known you. Thank you, my friend, for including me in your circle of life, your circle of friends, your circle of intimates. Never before have I felt so honored just to know someone. You are brilliant and beautiful, and we love you.
May sweet visions fill your mind and overshadow your pain. May your stroll in the meadow come true, and soon ~ Zoe by your side, as enchanted with you as the rest of us. No more pain, no more sorrow, no more sickness. It is possible for you, I feel it. If only I could make it happen for you ~ now, today ~ but I am so inadequate.
Take care of yourself, rest and nurture your own spirit. Don’t worry about the rest of us, we’ll be fine. We’ve been blessed just knowing you. Spend your energy on yourself, and know you are worth it. Heal and be healed. And mostly, be at peace.
I love and miss you my friend. I hope this note hasn’t been to far reaching, too hard to understand. I wanted so much to give back to you some of the beauty you have shared with me, yet I fear I have failed.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers, as always.
MinPin
I hope you are doing well, and that hospice is taking care of any pain you are having.
Best wishes to you and your family for the holidays!
For those who may not know, Michele passed away, in her home, November 29th, 2010.
She will always be missed and loved.