Archive for October, 2010

ups and downs

My days are usually filled with ups and downs, understandably. If one thing is bothering me one day it is likely to be something else the next. The days that are the hardest are the ones where more things bother me, either at one time or one after the other. Pain is the hardest, queasiness a close 2nd. It’s usually what I battle most days. I have tried various things but there are just those times I have what I call a pain crisis. I had one yesterday, that I just could not get a handle on the pain. Thankfully, pain management was able to get me through it. That and the at home acupuncture treatments I’ve been getting. It’s not instant relief but between it and pain management I got through a day I was afraid I wasn’t going to get through.

I am open to various alternative treatments. Particularly because there are limited things traditional medicine has to offer me at times. So acupuncture, hypnosis, a movement therapy called Fendenkrais (sp?), reiki are some of the things I’m doing or have done. I think they are all helping me in their own unique ways, but the similarities are also part of it, working with energy, with the body, etc.

Today my digestion is acting up, lots of reflux which wrecks havoc because it makes it hard to eat. I need to eat for obvious reasons, healing (in particular protein), taking pain meds, the reflux itself is a catch-22 in that I need to eat to keep the reflux down yet can’t eat because of the reflux. Ugh! In general I need to eat low fiber and low fat. I’ve been using Ensure/Glucerna liquid meals at least once a day. I have a hard time eating for a few reason a big one being my numb mouth. It has begun to affect my taste, and definitely makes everything feel dry, and if things are dry and tasteless (let’s not even talk about trying to eat chicken, one of the easiest proteins to digest for me, taste awful and gags me). I love my MIL matza ball soup, but enough already! There are supposedly all the limitations on what I can eat from what we read, but once we get to the GI dr. this week we’ll see if I really have to follow them. I hate the idea of putting myself in digestive pain from eating, say a salad, but I need food I actually like!

Okay, somehow I managed to get by on 3 hours sleep (if that) last night and it’s almost 3am now so I’d better get some sleep or i’m going to really feel sick tomorrow. Of course I just drank an Ensure, have to wake A. up to pee (which makes me feel horrible).


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